Perry Glasser

MINIMUM WAGE AND JOBS – PITY THE WEASELS!

In Business, Economics, Economy, EDUCATION, Finance, Political Economy, Politics, TAXES on March 29, 2014 at 10:59 am
FINANCIAL RHETORIC

FINANCIAL RHETORIC

Business leaders and their in-pocket legislators are raising their voices to crescendo levels about how a rise in minimum wage laws will destroy jobs. This contempt for logic once again brings Dollar$ to the keyboard to dispel the fog of self-serving rhetoric.

Raising the minimum wage reduces profit; it has nothing to do with the number of jobs. Dollar$ knows of no successful business operated as a public service to create employment opportunities.

Weasels are chasing their tails in fits of anxiety. On the one hand, all those underpaid Citizens vote, on the other hand, Buccaneers fund re-election campaigns.

What to do, O what to do?

Pity the poor Weasels!

This Weasel is so terrified of exposure, it is disguises as a  mongoose.

This Weasel is so terrified of exposure, it is disguises as a mongoose.

Minimum Wage

Minimum wage laws are safeguards against worker exploitation, allegedly set at a level that guarantees a living wage. What constitutes a living wage is open to debate, but whatever that may be, it stands to reason that over time, as inflation makes the cost of living rise, minimum wages must rise to keep pace. They are regional, as they should be, matters of state law. Federal guidelines for federal workers set a benchmark. The current federal minimum wage for non-military projects is $7.25 per hour and goes back to July, 2009.

Everyone knows this. Even Weasels and Buccaneers.

Everyone also knows that the purpose and function of business is to make profit. Dollar$ loses no sleep over this, and Dollar$ implores you to sleep soundly as well. Making money threatens nothing you hold dear. Profit is the engine of every aspect of our society. Irving Berlin wrote music to make money; Shakespeare wrote plays to sell tickets. Michelangelo sold his skills to Renaissance patrons who bid for his services.

Organizations pursue profit like water flows downhill or electrons through wire, following the path of least resistance. Effective management will deploy labor in the most efficient way possible to maximize profit. That’s simply good business practice.

Everyone knows all this, too.

The Buccaneer-Weasel Chorus

So Dollar$ reads with wide-eyed wonder when the Buccaneer-Weasel Chorus lifts their voices to sing about the perils of a raise in the minimum wage laws and how that will cost jobs.

Even Weasels and Buccaneers know this cannot be true.

If it were so, then lowering the minimum wage would create more jobs, and none of us believe for a minute that Ronald McDonald, Mickey Mouse, or your kid on the corner selling lemonade would be hiring if they could pay the help less: they would, instead, be pocketing the difference in wages as increased profit.

No real Buccaneer runs an organization to create jobs. True, the pursuit of profit will make a successful organization expand, and this expansion will incidentally create opportunities and jobs for employees, but Mickey Mouse does not open theme parks in China, France, and Tokyo as a public service to out-of-work Chinese, French, or Japanese workers—Mickey sails under the Jolly Roger and owes allegiance to no nation.

Flag of Business Loyalty

Flag of Business Loyalty

  • Like Mickey, your kid is selling lemonade on the corner because your kid wants profit. Like Mickey. your kid sets prices by calculating the cost of sugar, water, lemon juice, and ice, and then calculating a sales price that makes her labor worth her time—that’s the pursuit of profit.

Neither Mickey nor your kid hires additional labor as an act of charity or public policy because the pursuit of profit requires efficient deployment of labor.

Why hire three lemon-crushers when one will do? What’s the minimum number of ticket-sellers at the gates to the Magic Kingdom on a Fall day in Tokyo?

Raising the Minimum Wage

  • Raising the minimum wage will not put high school kids dishing ice cream out of summer work—someone has to do it because summers do not last.
  • Raising the minimum wage will not put sales people out of work at WalMart—WalMart hires no floor help as an act of public spirited charity; they already hire the fewest number of people they can.
  • Raising the minimum wage will not mean be fewer people in food services—someone still has to flip the burgers and Ronald already they already hire the fewest number of people they can.

Raising the minimum wage reduces profit, and this is why Weasels are chasing their tails. On the one hand, all those underpaid Citizens vote, on the other hand, Buccaneers fund re-election campaigns.

What to do, O what to do?

Pity the poor Weasels!

Send your personal Weasel a note indicating you are willing to pay a nickel more for your next cheeseburger so that the person serving it to you can buy her kid eyeglasses or can make the rent.

Who among us would not?

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  1. Hello & wow! This explains why there are always long lines at the grocery store and fast food joints…not many employees working. Raising the minimum wage will only guarantee long lines everywhere because…not many people working. One hell of a Catch-22.

    Thanks for your moderation.

    • The reason there are long lines at grocery stores and food joints is that business is good. There’s no Catch-22 at work at all. Jobs are not entitlements. There’s no logic to your charge, especially insofar as unemployment stands at more than 7% in most of the USA–there are plenty of people ready to take positions, but the service positions you complain about are insufficiently lucrative. If it does not pay to work, why would people? The US is not a nation of slave laborers who must work to eat. Some pinheads on the Right would like to think so, but there are no labor camps in America. In fact, in the US we respond to market conditions, and if there is a market where good help is not to be had at a given wage, raise the wage to attract the good help. Would you rather work at a McD’s in North Dakota or in Kentucky? Labor in North Dakota is scarce.

      If you are unhappy with the service you receive, you can do two things:
      1. Stop being an asshole and take your business elsewhere instead of bitching about service employees who are not treating you as well as you’d like to be treated.
      2. Complain to a manager. If an employee is weak, management training is weak. Managers are responsible parties, not some poor schmuck making $7.25/hour.

      You get the service you pay for, and you get to take your business wherever you like. Pissed-off nitwits who demand stellar service at minimum wages are like 19th century sea captains flogging sailors for being lazy: the only difference is that this is a country where labors have liberty. They get to leave the ship, if they wish.

      I am sure you would never suggest that we reduce people’s liberty to give you a faster burger. Only a total asshole would think that.

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